I've spent a lot of time this summer facing obstacles in the advancement of my ultimate carrier, at least, in how I saw it going while I was in college. I always thought I'd make an elite club team within the first two years I graduated from school, and that I'd be traveling around the western US playing high level disc. Well, by the time DUI ended I had been cut from both Jam and Revolver, and I had to settle on how to spend my summer.
If I was still in school at Claremont, the decision of where to play would have been easy. All I would have to do is find the best way to get better individually over the summer off season. Well, seeing as I no longer have a college team as a reason to devote myself to individual improvement, I had to reconsider my reasons for playing competitively. I thought about my personal goals in Ultimate, and decided to by into Yeager's desire to improve the UCSC program.
I agreed to co-captain a team with him, and once again became excited about the game. I wanted to help the Slugs, and have an outlet for playing quality disc with friends (of course, being in a position of leadership wasn't a downside). I also told Yeager that, seeing as I was helping to captain a Slug centric team for the summer, I'd be more than happy to help the Slugs prepare for the college series in whatever capacity I'd be useful. Even with these new reasons for playing the club season, I was unsure of my individual aspirations.
After a couple of practices with our fledgling team, Yeager and I led a rag tag bunch of 14 to solstice and wound up winning the open devision. This promising result, combined with picking up some Stanford kids and a couple more Yay Area club players started to get me reall stoked about the team's potential, and I dedicated myself to actually getting in good shape for Ultimate. Then, right as I had started to get into a grove in terms of workouts, feeling a little in shape, and even climbing reasonably strong (flashing easy 11s, redpointing some harder 11s and working on some easier 12s, still only climbing v5 though, I hadn't broken back into the 6s) I tore up my knee.
Injuring my knee brought me out of focusing on the short term success of SCUC (the Santa Cruz Ultimate Club, sort of what we settled on for a club name, we can still have different team names at tournaments), and back to thinking about my long term plans for ultimate. When I told my boy Robin I was no longer sure of why I play the game he responded "I think I get it. You've invested a lot of time in the community and you're well respected within it. You also have a lot of potential to advance your standing."
Robin is right, it's easy to know I'll continue to play ultimate for a long time just from the fun I have playing, and my involvement in the community. The real question is what are my competitive aspirations. I guess in every short term situation I play for my teammates (and therefore will remain dedicated to the SCUC guys this summer), I've just been struggling with finding a reason I play for myself.
I understand that at 22 I'm still young and have a lot of disc still ahead of me, but I'm no longer sure I'll need to play on the absolute best teams to fill my competitive aspirations. I'll still want to push myself athletically, and playing elite is one way to do that, but wanting to play elite is no longer the main reason I play competitive ultimate. I guess what I do next summer will really answer the questions I have about my competitive aspirations. Either I push myself to get in shape for the tryout season and dedicate myself to the process, or I show up in not the best shape again, and wind up playing with a second tear team for another summer (and likely many more). It seems that in the end I can't come up with the answer just sitting at my house and over-thinking it. I do know I want to make it back to open club nationals, and I would enjoy playing playing with the best. I also know that I don't have to play with the best to be satisfied, I just need teammates.
Word.
P.S. I really appreciate the concept behind Bob's WDUPU series.
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7 comments:
Sorry to hear about your knee, bro.
I'll still have a cold beer for you at Chico. EBAY will still crush Metro.
as long as you continue to be the amazing person you are, a dearth of quality teammates will not be on your list of problems. I'm proud to call you my teammate and co-captain, knee or no knee. stay positive
I'm down to chill with you at chico homeslice.
I'm sorry that a physicaly injury would present itself at a time in which you needed to figure out what you wanted from ultimate. Obviously the best way to figure out is play (my opinion), but I think keeping a sideline down with your good buddy Robin could make things cheery as well. Keep me informed. I'll carry you from game to game dramatically.
As for what to do for next year...
pump yourself. if you're not in shape (that is a strange concept to me), get in the kind of shape you want to be in. we can work out together until you need to pass me up to keep up or whatever.
regardless of what caliber team you play on i can guarantee a couple things
1) it's going to be very fun.
2) with my lifestyle switchup, workin and jerkin, i will be more available to chill with you at tournaments, which is increasingly enjoyable for me now that i no longer entertain the idea of being in them
peace out bromagnon,
Robin
i kind of model my game after yours, so i personally would rather see you reach great heights, as it would make it mentally easier for me to follow.
sorry about the knee, good luck in the future / i am sure i will see you next year some
I leave for the weekend and now you have a to' up knee!? what even happened?
this was a very thoughtful post.
if i was going to offer input, i would have to say that i think the competitive aspect that you enjoy is playing in a way that challenges you. whether that is playing with a high-level nationally competitive club team, or stepping up into a bigger role (such as captaining) with a lower-level team, as long as you feel challenged you are fulfilling your competitive aspirations.
i'm not trying to say that i know you better than you know yourself, it's just what i think.
my good wishes for your knee.
You know where your future lies: D-SUN!
That being said, heal quickly. You'll find the way for sure.
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